Archives for March 2013

Friends Don’t Let Friends TRAIN Coaches

This article from late last year has been bugging me for months. You know why? Because he’s right. And the reasons behind why “Leadership Training” doesn’t work extends to coaches. Coaches have to be developed, and we can’t train them. Training & development are NOT the same thing. Mike Myatt lists 20 reasons why development is the better option. You should read them.

Because of this article, we’ve made some decisions.

At CoachNet, we no longer train coaches. There, I said it out loud. This has been an internal conversation at CoachNet for about a year.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to launch new coaches, or help our existing coaches get better. We’re just not going to train anybody. Because it can’t be done. At least not effectively. Coaching is a skill set that grows under the right conditions. Yes, there are knowledge, skills and abilities involved, but the reality is you don’t get trained to unlock those things.

If you want to be a highly effective coach, you have to develop. And coach development is what CoachNet is committed to. In fact, we’re committed to YOUR coach development, and all that that means!

You can’t learn to coach in a training. What we have commonly called a training event might be a part of the process, but the reality is that every one of our systems is designed to develop you–your knowledge, skills and abilities. A training event might get you started, but it takes repetitions to get there. But like the old saying goes, “You can’t learn to swim in a classroom.” The same goes for coaching.

And as of today, we no longer train coaches. We’re out of the coach training business/ministry. We are now in the coach development industry/movement.

A friend of mine is a coach in the National Football League, and he’s spent the last few seasons with a team that isn’t exactly burning up the league. His team is talented, but young. They haven’t won a lot of games recently (and yes, the team’s practice facility is in the same suburb as the CoachNet offices). But my friend sees progress and growth, because the team is working hard in practice. One of his favorite lines is “young guys have to get the reps.” Repetition in practice makes the difference. It’s the thing that leads to growth. That’s development. We want to help you practice what you learn, so it makes a difference. Want to get started on your coach development here.

That’s really different than training. You know, the mountaintop experience that leaves you going “MAN, that was AWESOME!” It was so awesome in fact, that when you got home you put the binder on the shelf and never opened it again. Well, I hate to say it, but that’s training. We’re not doing that anymore.

Don’t get me wrong…we’re still going to have coach development events. You’ll still have the chance to get into the room with a top quality CoachNet coach, to learn, to see a model of excellent coaching, to ask questions and to apply what you’re learning. (You can pick a choice that fits for you here.) BUT, if you don’t take what you learn there home, practice with it, and use it to become a better coach, we’ve failed. Over the next few days, you’ll slowly start to see the word “training” disappear from the CoachNet site. (It’s already gone from our home page.)

So, what are your thoughts? How are you developing as a coach? Please put your thoughts in the comment area. I promise to respond to every comment.

Where Do The Best Coaching Questions Come From?

At a recent coaching event, Ron–a highly skilled coach–was telling me about what he feels like when he’s really locked into the coaching zone. “It just flows out of me…I’m really hearing what the other person is saying, bold questions are just jumping out of my mouth, and my clients are coming up with creative and useful action steps throughout the session.”

You've got questions? So does a good coach! — ]1 You’ve got questions? So does a good coach!

Every coach has had sessions like the one Ron is describing. I asked him what kicks off a process like this. He didn’t blink “It’s the questions. When I get to the zone, I don’t even know where the questions are coming from.”

That got me wondering about how a coach could internationalize the question asking process so that effortless coaching zone might be more easily achieved. Let’s look at the origination of a bold question.

Most coaching questions come from one of two places. First, there are questions that we ourselves can draw out of our own experience. We might have seen something or experienced something that caused our brains to put an idea out there or follow a mental trail to ask a particular question. If it’s true that how you are in your personal relationships is how you are in your coaching relationships–I believe it is!–a good coach can relay on their own experience to frame a question that serves the client. That also means a coach can ask those questions with integrity and authenticity, which only serves the client and the coaching relationship even more strongly.

The second place questions come from is God. There are always questions that Jesus is asking us to ponder. This one is much harder because often we don’t have any idea what the ready-made answer might be. It might be a rough edge that needs to be filed off, a deeply held calling on which we haven’t acted, or the introduction of a brand new phase of life–personally, professionally or in ministry.

A good strategy for coaches who want to ask the best possible questions is to take a moment in preparing for your session(s) and ask yourself “Which of these areas is the source of the questions I’m feeling compelled to ask?” Be prepared to draw out deeper understanding and listen very closely for the balance of the human-framed question and the God-inspired one. Ron told me that when he’s in his coaching zone he feels like 60-80% of his questions are the God prompted ones. How do you do with balancing these two sources in your coaching? Please add your thoughts in the comments.

Leaders who Coach (And Are Coached)

If you’re trying to launch a coaching culture in your organization, every leader has to both be coached and be coaching someone else. This is the only way for a coaching culture to take deep root.

Facebook conversation. — ]1 Oh look! The Bishop is on Facebook!

A working example of this comes from Bishop Mike Rinehart of the Texas-Louisiana Gulf Coast Synod of the ELCA. During a recent exchange in a stream of Facebook comments, Bishop Rinehart laid out his leadership philosophy:

Did you see the simple questions that started this exchange? *Who are you coaching? Who is coaching you? *This simple mindset starts you on the way toward a culture that draws the best out of the people who are connected.

As you seek to launch a coaching culture, how are you building coaching skills that leaders can pass on? What transferable coaching skills are you pouring into the leaders around you? How will you know it’s working?

Leaders who commit to coaching and being coached consistently draw the best out of themselves and the people around them.

This is how a multiplication movement of leaders is born in your church or organization!

14 Reasons Coaching is the BEST. THING. EVER.

During a recent coach training event with members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America’s (ELCA) coaching leadership team, the participants brainstormed 14 reasons why coaching is something that every leader should leverage for their personal and professional development.

Brainstorm — ]1 Now THAT’s a brainstorm! Complete with Lightning!

1. Coaching is a time saver.

2. It helps with accountability.

3. It is effective in helping overwhelmed leaders work through their options.

4. It is effective in helping underwhelmed leaders to see opportunities.

5. It is post-modern. Coaching assumes the leader has knowledge.

6. It is a proven discipling model worldwide.

7. It offers a good model for a church that seems to have worn out a lot of old models.

8. Coaching provides a personal GPS.

9. Coaching provides a connection between individuals and their church.

10. Coaching helps people feel both successful and qualified.

11. Coaching spurs creativity.

12. Coaching is affirming.

13. Coaching is an investment in a leaders success.

14. Coaching lends itself to using technology.

This list is the product of just a few minutes work. If you were making your own list, what reasons would you cite for why coaching is a tool that every leader needs in their toolbox? Please add your reasons in the comment area below.

The Best Kind of Self-ish

In a recent post, we looked at three ways you can be self-oriented and have it benefit your coaching practice. But in this blog post, we’re going to look at the most important self-oriented idea of all for coach: the idea of self regulation.

girl with duct tape — ]2 That’s going to sting.

We’ve all heard the statement “Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean that you should do it.” That’s the core of self regulation. When you combine your self-awareness (the ability to monitor what you’re thinking and feeling as it’s happening) and your self-efficacy (your own assessment of what you can actually do), you get a pretty clear picture of what actions are within your reach. You might even take a moment and list out all of your options in a given situation.

But then self-regulation becomes an important control. Once you have clarity on what is within your reach–especially in terms of your behavioral options–self-regulation is the ability to choose to act in the best possible way. Just under the surface of the idea of self-regulation is a value for coming up with solutions that are not only true to your own interests, but also for the interests of the other people with whom you have relationships. Self-regulation is a two-way street, good for you and for the people around you.

So how does this benefit a coaching relationship? When a coach makes self-regulated decisions, good effects come not only to the coach but also to the client. When a client is self-regulated, the coaching relationship benefits and the coach becomes more effective.

Growing in self-regulation means being true to your personal values, even when it’s less-than-enjoyable to maintain that commitment. Being self-regulated also pulls the people around you up…because of your commitment.

Archives for March 2013

So, what is YOUR cause?

Let’s talk about getting you focused on the thing(s) that get you up in the morning…or what keeps you up at night!

Let’s talk about getting you focused on the thing(s) that get you up in the morning…
or what keeps you up at night!