Coaching

My friend Bill Woolsey (or follow him on Twitter) uses a great definition of the kind of culture that really makes a difference. Bill’s working definition is that culture is “values observed in language and behavior”. That’s it. Pretty simple to say, but not nearly as easy to actually accomplish.

Let’s break this statement down, and then take a look at how an effective coach could use each of these pieces..

Values observed: This is one of those sneaky statements, because it assumes clarity of values. Not only are the values present, but people engaged in the culture actually know what they are and universally understand them. That’s a big assumption, that may require significant effort. Do you know what your church’s values are? Your job? Even your family? Value alignment is an uphill battle, that you probably can’t revisit it too often. It takes repetition—often a LOT of repetition—to gain high levels of clarity on values. Have I mentioned that it takes repetition?

Observed in language: The words that get said in a culture are the thing(s) that frame where the culture is going. What are you talking about? The topics of conversation that a culture consistently grabs onto are the ideas that not only frame where the culture is, but also where it’s going. Think about a church that constantly talks about the way things used to be…that’s a church that has lost all forward momentum, and is hearkening back to the way things used to be or The Good Old Days. Or think about how word-of-mouth impacts what movies you see, what TV shows you watch or even how you spend your weekend. The things you talk about indicate what’s a priority for you.

Observed in behavior: But, bottom line is what you do shows the highest level of ownership you can offer. We’ve all been a part of a team (or coached a team) that wanted to talk about what was important, but never actually do anything. Nothing destroys forward momentum quicker than long conversations that don’t lead to action.

So how could a coach use these three pieces to help coach toward culture? Each section of this statement builds on a different part of the coaching process. Values observed is all about listening, either with your ears or one of the other senses. As a coach, how could you help a client become attuned to where those values are actually observable? What questions could you ask that would build clarity about the organization’s or church’s values? A tremendously powerful coaching question about this is “How easy is it for people to find a written copy of your values?” You can follow this up with “Where do you see this coming to life?”

The language a coach uses also will inform culture. If this definition of culture is adopted, regular check ins about language are a must. Coaches could ask “What language are we hearing regularly? How does this help/hurt what we value?” Powerful follow up questions center on what language do we need more of, and what should be taken out of the organizational lexicon.

Behavior follows a similar standard. “What behaviors are bringing our values to life?” is a great conversation starter for evaluating what’s actually happening in an organization. The converse is also true: “What behaviors are we seeing that are getting in the way of our values?” or “What behaviors are contradictory to our values?” Coaches may need channels beyond the direct input to hear about what behaviors are actually going on. You may need to develop accountabilty channels beyond the traditional ones.

How do you measure culture? How do you inventory whether you are actually living out the culture you think you have? If you’ve got a coaching strategy that would be helpful for others, I’d love to hear it in the comments!

A former coaching client—no names please—struggled with choosing actions that he actually was willing to accomplish. No matter what action he considered, he could talk himself out of actually acting on it. The plan could make all the sense in the world, but my creative client was able to brainstorm all kinds of reasons why he shouldn’t actually move on the plan. Good plans or bad, it wasn’t long before the momentum fell away.

Maybe you’ve worked with a client like this, or a client that struggles with momentum in accomplishing their action plans. More often than not, a loss of momentum is the first step toward inaction. So, watching the momentum in coaching can be a great predictor of what a client will do, and what they won’t. Let’s ask the bold question: Where’s the momentum in your coaching relationships?

Momentum is a funny thing…we’re not talking about physical momentum, like in this video about momentum. Really what we’re describing is that sense in a coaching conversation where you know the client is going to accomplish whatever they commit to. Choosing actions becomes easier, and they seem to happen with minimal activity/effort in the relationship. It’s not the same as buy in to the purpose of the relationship, but momentum is definitely and outgrowth of being fully bought in.

With buy in, momentum is forward momentum. Without buy in, momentum can easily become backwards. The best coaches constantly find ways to supply forward momentum for their client. More accurately, the coach doesn’t supply it, but rather the coach fosters momentum growth in the relationship. Trust and mutual commitment to the relationship are the building blocks. The client must be making progress toward their vision, with the coach going along for the ride.

Think about our working definition of coaching: “a relationship with a purpose, focused on facilitating change.” It’s fair to say that if nothing is changing, you’re probably not coaching-at least not very well. So the first evaluation of momentum in your coaching is “What’s changing?” Forward momentum grows when you’re changing the thing that the client picked out. You can’t just change anything willy-nilly, you’ve got to be working on changing the thing that the client chooses.

So any momentum in your coaching conversation has to be moving toward the destination or vision that the client picked out. How do you do that? One is by constantly checking with your client, “Are we making progress toward the thing(s) you want to accomplish?"

If the answer is “Yes” to this question, you got forward momentum. If the answer is “No”, you probably don’t. If the answer is “I’m not sure”, you probably need a little time to evaluate the action steps your relationship is generating to see if they’re taking the client where they want to go. All of those situations are coachable, and an effective coach will consistently leverage questions and action steps are the best way to measure your forward momentum.

You even have an opportunity to leverage negative momentum or backwards momentum into something positive. Think about Frederick Vester’s idea of energy transformation and Wikipedia. Vester argues that any—positive or negative—momentum can be leveraged toward the preferred outcome. Powerful coaching question can be a great way to route any momentum toward the preferred outcome.

So what’s the current state of momentum in your coaching relationships? What questions can you ask to route that momentum toward the preferred destination? How can you use questions to add momentum to your relationships?

Got a strategy you like? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.