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Jonathan Reitz, MCC

Coaching Causes, Not Symptoms

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Thought Exchange: The Blog of Jonathan Reitz

Better Coaching. Less Coffee.

I gave up coffee...

This post hits everything that comes up in an effective coaching relationship–the highs, the lows, pain, celebration, and change. But first a story.

Hello. My name is Jonathan, and I’m a coffee-a-holic.

Coffee came into my life in the early 1990s when I had to be at work at 3:30 or 4 AM. The caffeine jolt was the only thing that kept me going for those first couple of years. With an attitude of “There was no such thing as too much coffee”, when I started feeling a little bit worn out, I just had another cup. Before too long and my habit was living my life for me.

I gave up coffee...

Eventually, convincing myself that I only drank coffee because of the taste became pretty easy. Because it was true, java is one of my favorite flavors. The excuses became easy…just one more cup. What was going on in the background though, is that I became addicted to the caffeine…even after the rush stopped working.

The caffeine jolt lessened over time. Even though my tolerance must have been enormous, I could still tell when I hadn’t had a cup or two–or six. Instead of taking good care of my body and using a healthy energy management strategy, I relied on an artificial blast.

And it worked. For a while.

“Coaches can leverage pain or discomfort to help a client build new and more effective, healthy habits.”

A few months ago, I realized I had probably had a pot of coffee a day every day for the last 25 years. Not good.

Finally, the acid in coffee started giving me stomach and throat issues. So even though it was painful I stopped, cold turkey.

After a couple weeks, a lot of headaches, and a serious caffeine detox, I can tell you that I still miss the taste but I feel better than I ever have. My energy levels are peaking. I’m saving money. A side of myself I had long forgotten–the healthy side–is coming back to life.

The decision was made for health reasons, but I really miss a cup of joe in the morning. OK, I really miss seven or 8 cups of coffee in the morning. But my habit wasn’t taking me anywhere helpful.

What had become a crutch has now been replaced by much healthier habits based around exercise, eating right, and caffeine free beverages. (BTW…the Oprah Chai Herbal Decaf Tea from Teavana is AWESOME.)

Here’s the coaching insight: It was pain or discomfort that got me to make changes in my life. And coaches can leverage pain or discomfort to help a client build new and more effective, healthy habits.

If a client is depending on short-term, quick fix tactics, the dependence is probably worth it (at least in the client’s eyes) as long as the desired results keep coming. But the minute those results stop, somethings got to change.

And now, both coach and client have a decision to make. Do you replace one short term habit with another? Or do you push for more lasting change?

As a coach, how do you help your clients see deeper key issues that lead to healthier habits and resolutions? Constantly taking the long view is a strategy that that will help clients change consistently and intentionally. It is OK for coaches to challenge a client toward a longer view and healthier habits.

It’s also OK for a coach to work with a client who wants a short-term, quick fix mentality.

How do you know which to pursue? Let the client choose. The client always gets to choose.

“The client always gets to choose.”

In fact, this is one of the ways that coaches are distinct from other helping professions like consultants or counselors. Coaches are open to both addressing the current situation, but also taking a long view toward implementation of the new habit. Don’t be afraid to challenge your client, especially if it leads to long-term more sustainable habits.

But always let the client choose.

Barrier Breakers Episode #12–Skills to Overcome the 200 Barrier

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On Episode #12 of the Barrier Breakers Podcast, Jonathan Reitz & Gary Rohrmayer look at Skills to Overcome the 200 Growth Barrier.  In this episode, you will learn:

  • What can delegation do for you?
  • How can you make the most of the money you have available to you in your congregation?
  • How can you as the pastor get comfortable with talking about money?
  • And, what to do about the C Word–CHANGE?  (Don’t worry, you won’t run screaming from the room!)

All that and more on episode #12 of the Barrier Breakers Podcast!

New Podcast Episode

Barrier Breakers Episode #11–Understanding the 200 Barrier

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In this episode of the Barrier Breakers Podcast, Gary Rohrmayer and Jonathan Reitz look at what’s going on in your church as you work through the 200 growth barrier.

In this episode, you’ll learn about how:

  • The church’s relationship with the pastor changes at this growth barrier.
  • You can empower people to expand leadership influence in your church, and
  • The Key to Growing Your Church through the Key People in Your Church.

 

New Podcast Episode

O Say Can You See…

True confession: I don’t know the words to the Star-Spangled Banner.

O Say Can you See?Now before you invite me to move to another part of the world, it’s not like I’ve never sung the National Anthem. I just can’t do it from memory.

Since I was a basketball player all the way through college, the only time I ever heard the national anthem was when I was getting ready to play. My mind was on the game and I guess I just tuned out the words.

But last week on Fourth of July, my wife was singing the Star-Spangled Banner during a holiday parade and it got me thinking: America’s national anthem is all about a great vision or a great dream for what’s possible.

It’s about perseverance, and possibilities that aren’t yet reality. Our national anthem calls the best out of each of us and the country as a whole. The words challenge us to be the best person we possibly can be.

It’s pretty powerful, the idea that every individual has the freedom to be who they are supposed to be. The Star-Spangled Banner hints that a community speeds up the process.

How does this patriotic line of thinking connect with coaching? Here it is: the very substance of the Star-Spangled Banner is what coaching is about.

[Tweet “What can you do as a coach to help your clients be brave, to take bold action?”]

Coaches want each individual to be the best person they can be, and to live the best possible life they can according to who they actually are.

At the risk of going all cheesy patriotic on you, what if coaching really was the land of the free and the home of the brave?

With this patriotic vision of what might be in front of us, how can you make your coaching relationships a place for your clients are free to be who they are?

What can you do as a coach to help your clients be brave, to take bold action toward something they’re dreaming about?

Listening to the words of the Star-Spangled Banner this Fourth of July really inspired me. At 48 years old, I’m going to learn the words to our national anthem.

Yes it’s where I’m from, and it reflects my country, but it also provides the very picture of what I hope my coaching will do.

And that’s something about which to feel very grateful, and very patriotic. We live in a country that is built on freedom and bravery, and we coaches work in a profession that grows freedom and bravery. Nice parallel.

It’s time for me to learn the words of the Star-Spangled Banner, because I’m patriotic and it’s about what coaches are about.

So if you bump into me somewhere ask me how learning the words is going, but don’t be surprised if I burst into song.

What’s your coaching niche?

What's your niche?The most effective coaches have both a coaching specialty (or focus) and a coaching niche. These are two distinct-but-related things.

The most effective coaches know how they’re going to serve (specialty) and who you’re going to serve (niche).

Here’s what I mean: Training and specialization are about the coach being ready to serve the client. Maybe thinking about this as HOW you serve a client in your coaching would be helpful. This is really about you, the coach.

[Tweet “The most effective coaches know how they’re going to serve (specialty) and who you’re going to serve (niche). #coachinghacks”]

Coaching niche is about WHO you serve. This is all about the client. If a possible coaching client is not someone you think you can help, refer them or assist them as they find someone who can help.

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